Meeting the Other Woman

See :)

Got published in Tamarind Rice

I performed this also,

at Poetry on the Big Mic Vol 29

Tell me what you think!

 

Also, someone marked my last post "indifferent". Who are you? Come forward.

 

-Wannabe Wayfarer

The hair is always shinier on the other head

Girls with curls want to straighten their hair and those with sleek hair want curls. Classic case of female envy. That's what beauty salons feed on - our insecurities. We women are quite self-conscious. Those who claim you're not, who are you kidding? We use the rear-view mirror inside the car only to re-apply lipstick before we get out.

I have naturally straight, black hair. The length and style varies countless times in a year depending on the seasons and my unpredictable moods. Most recently, I also added some colour to it. Every fortnight, I get bored looking at the same reflection in the mirror and then go do something drastic with what I can experiment the most on - my hair. Once upon a time, I had long hair. But now I just don't have the patience for it anymore. Thanks to my habit of oiling my hair (or so we Indian women believe), I have had no complaints of dry hair. Even after I bleached sections of it to look like Nicki Minaj.

Anyway, I got a bob cut six months ago but it didn't seem shocking enough to make me like what I saw in the mirror. Therefore the colour. This is what I looked like then:

 

Now, the burgundy/pink is almost all gone and the straw-colour of the bleach that remains resembles a manjaa (a thread which is used to fly kites).

How many times have you ditched a social gathering simply because your hair didn't agree with you? I bail on 70% of the outings I get invited to. In hindsight, I rot at home 90% due to silly reasons like - my hair is not shiny enough, it is falling flat today or I look like a beaten-up Rihanna (no offence, Ri.)

I now have an award-winning and rather hassle-free solution to these vanities.

A Ramp-Ready Hairstyle at home!

In fact, I had no idea that my beautiful mane makes heads turn because of my simple trick while shampooing! I took for granted the extra volume my just-washed hair assumes and retains for at least two days thence. (I mean, isn't everybody's hair supposed to look fabulous after a hair-wash?) However, only after a slightly jealous friend asked how I managed a voluminous look did I realize that my way of hair-wash is not known to many.

So, here's what I suggest you should do too:

o   This works well with any good shampoo. Just do what you always do.

o   To rinse it off, however, while standing under the head shower, turn your hair upside down and face the floor so that the water falls from the nape of your neck to your forehead.

o   The last rinse, most importantly, should be with freezing cold water in the same face-down position (cold water gives guaranteed shine to your hair)

o   Conditioning is a must because it is essential that you do not have knots in your hair

o   After you're done washing, don't rub a towel on your hair to dry it

o   Simply wrap it around the upturned hair and squeeze the excess water

o   Keep the towel wrapped. You may leave it on while you get dressed, do your make-up etc for the big party.

o   After all that is done, face down again, remove the towel and use a wide-tooth comb on your damp hair in the same upturned position only. Comb from back to front, neck to forehead, preferably directly under a fan.

o   Ultimately, turn your head up and toss your hair back with a flourish

o   Do not comb your hair now. Simply let it dry.

o   Use your fingers to set it in place, where needed.

o   You can use a hairspray if you so desire to lock the just-washed hair look.

Voila!

This works 100% on straight, sleek, black and shiny hair. (yes, I show-off.)

For more Ramp-Ready Hairstyles for your hair-type, check out: http://www.youtube.com/user/TresemmeIndia/RampReadyHair

There are awesome DIYs for curly (makes me wish I had curls) and wavy hair, too!

Feeling sexy,

Wannabe Wayfarer

But Most Importantly, Be Mine.

Prologue: Eventually, say when I am 25, I want to get married. Probably not settle down, but definitely spend the rest of my life with one man. This post is for that man. I know this is five years too soon. But this is to remind me what I need to demand of him. I must not be blinded by the fervor and must not compromise on my indispensable requirements. Of course, this may be rendered useless. I will not settle for sub-standard so I just might not get married at all. If in case I do, it is my fiance’s responsibility to read this post.

Hi.

You are going to spend the rest of your life with me. Are you sure? Rethink. Please consider this as documentary evidence of my official warning to you.
If you’re still so madly in love with me, this is what I want:

A humble wedding.

Ever since I can remember, I thought extravagant weddings were the best kind of weddings. As I grew up, I was familiarized with family politics and I learned that big weddings do not usually mean happy marriages. As I gradually attended more and more weddings, I realized I would be much happier with a humble wedding. Firstly, rich weddings are highly inconvenient. I do not want to be an unmoving, over-dressed doll that needs to walk at the pace of an 8-bit video game character on the very day that I want to jump with joy and laugh and dance and not care if the whole world is looking at me. See, my plan is simple:

1.       ALL traditional rituals and functions must be followed. In case you are not Punjabi, I want to do all your set of rituals, too. We are not going to miss out on even the tiniest tradition.

2.       Anyway most of our pre-wedding functions will be different for you and me. We will each be with our respective families. All my pre-wedding functions will be amongst a small gathering of only those closest to me. Therefore, just family. As for you, I am going to trust you to have sincerely performed all your set of required rituals before getting married to me.

3.       A sangeet. I would prefer that to be more or less private, too. My friends and I are constantly editing the song-list. I have already decided the anchor for the event - my maid of honour. So you can’t have a say in that, sorry.

4.       The shaadi – I want pheras. Even outside a mandir will do. Nothing too fancy, please. I just want my pheras and sindhoor and all that jazz. And lesser the audience, the better.

5.       Basically, I want to make just the Reception an open-to-all event. Rest everything needs to be a family affair. Since 80% chance is that you are a Punjabi, our combined family strength will be 800 people. We need to cut it short to 200. That is our guest list for the sangeet. Okay fine, plus a 100-odd for our friends. Reception, you may invite even 1000 people.

6.       I DO NOT WANT US TO SIT ON A STAGE FOR OUR RECEPTION. It’s a reception! Not an exhibition. We will be moving around constantly, touching the feet of elders here, there and everywhere. We will have a table with the rest of the people. NOT a stage. If you insist otherwise, go for the reception alone.

7.       I want to hire a cool wedding photographer and I will not be made to pose with my hands under my chin phonily.

That’s it. See? I don’t ask for much.

Now, here’s what I expect from you once we’re together (since I’ve already chosen you, the disclosure of my more detailed, essential pre-requisites is not needed here):

Say I’m beautiful.

Defend me at all times. Come home and shout, that’s okay.

Don’t leave me alone anywhere.

Be interesting.

Love me, but don’t spoil me.

Travel light.

If I am marrying you, I sincerely hope it is because we love each other. Even my expression of love to you is restrained until we’re married; and I’m yours.

In this life and beyond,

Candidly yours,

Wannabe Wayfarer.

 

So that the bachcha party doesn't get bored



Inspire

“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”
Words of Winston Churchill. They summarize my enriching experience on 23rd November, 2012. Thanks to Deloitte’s CSR initiative - Impact Day.

Within months after I joined Deloitte, I had heard much animated talks about our annual “Impact Day” – stories of the ones gone by and plans for the upcoming one. The excitement was infectious. I just couldn’t wait to experience it myself. Finally in November, my inbox flashed the official e-mail inviting us to be a part of something as big as this. Ideas were sought from all of us. This was our chance to make a difference – in not just others’ but also our own lives. When the projects were shortlisted, they were all so good; I couldn’t decide which one to register for. I chose “Inspire”. Why? Truth be told, because I like painting walls. I don’t really like children so I think it was solely for the chance to paint an entire balwadi (children’s home).

We had pre-project meetings just like we have pre-engagement briefings at work. Our team brainstormed on how we would spend the day with the kids and in what way could we leave a lasting impact on their imaginative minds. Finally it was decided that we would conduct three workshops – glass painting, paper quilling and paper-bag making. Responsibilities were allocated; our Deloitte t-shirts were handed out. I was already feeling pumped up. Needless to say, all the logistics went smoothly.

Where did we go to on that bright morning? Ramakrishna Sarada Samiti, Sion. RKS started by providing free medical service to the poor slum dwellers of the area in 1968. At that time, they had neither funds nor land. 1974 saw the construction of its present building, which now provides free health care for all, vocational training to women, basic education and other activities such as dance, art and music classes to children up to the age of thirteen. We met Mr. Raghu Pilaka, a chartered accountant by profession, who whole-heartedly devotes his time to the NGO. His wife, Mrs. Vidya - a wonderful lady and an architect by profession - too, shares his ideals. They both welcomed us warmly, thanking us (Deloitte) for our generous contribution while I shyly smiled, unable to say anything. 

As soon as we entered Little Lamps, the balwadi, I was reminded of my own pre-school; and how much I loved it. It was no different for those children over there. They much prefer spending their entire day at RKS rather than at their homes. We had walked in in the middle of a drawing class. The young lad teaching the kids is also from the same slum area, a very talented artist, and is aspiring to get admission at JJ College of Arts. Looking at his painting that adorned a wall of the dispensary, I think he is deserving of that opportunity. RKS is making sure he does.

We started almost immediately after a quick breakfast of idli-chutney. Most of the men took up the task of painting the periphery. Those of us who were more creatively-inclined chose to paint rainbows, birds, butterflies, trees, geometric shapes (and all things bright and beautiful) on the walls inside. The JJ-aspirant helped us a lot. After three hours of paint-splashing, frenzied picture-clicking and exhausting running-around, we took a break for lunch. The children were astonishingly well-mannered and comfortably jovial with us. Once well-fed, our energy levels doubled up (and yet, didn’t match those of the power-packed kids). We made a huge wall-poster with all the drawings that they made in class. Here’s what it looked like:

The fun had only just begun. We sat together for a quick round of introductions, to break the ice and open up before we commenced the workshops. And guess what? I learned the bharatnatyam namaskara, thanks to this beautiful eleven-year old girl, who also gave me a wonderful “thankyou” card at the end of the day (I did NOT cry. Shut up!). From budding choreographers to potential artists, the energy of the troop overwhelmed me. The workshops were a huge hit with them. Their innocent smiles and infectious giggles made it difficult for me not to like them. Much to my own surprise (and shock), I had befriended most of them by the end of the day. But no, I did not get even slightly emotional when one of them asked, “Didi, when will you come back?” True to its title, this project inspired me to be as selfless as Mr. and Mrs. Pilaka; and as happy, imaginative and energetic as all those "little lamps".

I am going to make some furniture out of waste paper this Sunday with them. After all, I did promise the little girl that I would return soon.

More pictures here.

Blessed with small joys,

Wannabe Wayfarer.

September ends..

As one of my two regular followers pointed out recently, I haven't updated this blog for over a month now. Because I have been pre-occupied. A lot has happened in Septemeber 2012. My first tax audit and first real relationship for instance. But those are topics I am not keen to blog about. So instead, I shall share something I wrote to please an upcoming youth-centric website (and it got rejected).


Quote: Vox populi, vox Dei

Origin: Greek, 14th century

Translation: “The voice of the people is the voice of God”

Interpretation: Statistically, India is the largest democracy. Sure, secular, multi-cultural and multi-lingual are all very impressive attributes. But the question is, are we really free? If we were a free country, doodlers making wolves instead of lions wouldn’t be arrested on charges of sedition. Tolerance is a virtue secular India must learn. Another disturbing question is, why must the people resort to dramatic strikes and protests to make themselves heard? The esteemed “kursi” is of the people, for the people and by the people, remember?

PS: I also have a strong reverse opinion on the same Greek quote. But let’s keep that for a better (or worse) day.

Further upsetting quotes:

• “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” - George Orwell, Animal Farm (which, FYI, is a hilariously depressing book).
• “Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.” - Abraham Lincoln

Lunch-time at office.

Forever hungry,

Wannabe Wayfarer.